As the time to move gets closer, though it is going to be another 3 months or so, my heart is feeling heavy about it. I love teaching. I love my students. I enjoy what I do, even when I complain. The thought of leaving all of them behind is saddening, and it is with a heavy heart that I have to prepare to leave.
I am not one to reject change but, I just feel sad about leaving all that is familiar to me. A lot of who I am is defined by what I do. And what I do is .... educate. It is not something my family understand. It is not something other people appreciate. Most of my friends feel happy for me, knowing it is a good change. But only a few actually know how hard it is for me. If not for the fact that the timing is just right, that I have become so disillusioned with some of the things and people here, I would not have wanted to leave at all.
But I AM GOING TO LEAVE. I can't change that, nor do I really want to deny that. I just cannot bear it at this time.