Saturday, June 19, 2010
I thought it'd be a relaxing and interesting holiday. Didn't quite turn out to be so. I spent the 2 weeks really tired and also partly sick. So it has not been fun. It has not been very relaxing either.
The holiday started with the SOX Competition. It was a public holiday. I have forfeited 2 public holidays for the team and SOX Regional and Finals. I should be compensated for that. It took be a few days to really recover from the weekend due to all sorts of things I had to sort out. And then hubby had to go to England for work. So I was pretty much left alone to take care of the whole family and the house and the dog and the python. It was tiring for me, doing all sorts of house work and entertaining the boys. And it was lonely having to spend the evenings and nights on my own when the kids had gone to bed.
And I still went to school that first week. D*starz was in training Monday and Tuesday. I wasn't there for long, but I was there! Wednesday and Thursday, I looked in on the team when they went for Cheer Camp in Puchong. I had to see to their needs, making sure they had water, food, etc. I had to take my boys everywhere with me the few days because there was no one to take care of them. Imagine the havoc. Joel's finger got bitten by the school's tortoise. Sigh!
Friday to Sunday, I took my boys for the Cell Group Retreat in Melaka. It was nice for them but tiring for me as I had to see to all the packing, cleaning up after them, everything. I drove to Melaka. Thank God the CG members helped with the boys. I just did not have enough hands to hold all 3 boys, esp when going out walking along the Jonker Walk area. The streets were so narrow. The traffic was terrible. But the boys had a good time. They went swimming in the hotel pool. We went on the river cruise. We went to the Butterfly Park. We had Nyonya food. But I was really tired. And I drove home from Melaka. The amount of laundry to do after that was .... sigh!
Hubby came back a few days ago. With lots of laundry! SIGH! And I got sick just before he came home. I had low grade fever and lots of body aches. It felt like I was going to get the flu. That didn't happen, but just as the fever subsided, I got diarrhoea. Three days of diarrhoea was not fun. At least it wasn't overly serious.
Thursday I was in school for over 4 hours. D*starz was being filmed by 8TV. We used the hall and had to pick up after some of them before locking up. Grrr.
Friday was basically a day for me to just rest a bit and also catch up with a few more house work. It's Saturday now. I am in school again. D*starz again. Where did the time go? I haven't had a good break. I am tired. I haven't done most of the things I thought I could do. Just no energy. And no mood.
I know I sound like I am being evasive of work but, when school is in session, I am so drowned with work that I have little time for family and myself. So when it is holiday time, I just want to throw away work and focus on family, house and myself (not that I have managed to focus on myself). Probably if I had a helper it would be easier, but that is something I just have to work around. Oh well.
So, I have today, and tomorrow to catch up on some work, hopefully. I am honestly tired, and just want to crawl into bed and sleep for another week!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Today was the day my cheer girls competed in the SOX All Stars Drum and Dance Finals at the Stadium Negara. The day did not start out too well as there were misunderstandings as well as miscommunications. I was super annoyed with some people but in the end things worked out in spite of everything.
Then they competed. The first round went okay with some infractions and problems. It wasn't bad but it could be lots better. But they made it to the top 7 for round 2. It was a tough time while waiting for that result. To top it off, the team was announced and straight away asked to prepare to perform. It was almost crazy for the girls but they performed almost flawlessly. We were going to be top three for sure.
During lunch hour, before round two, actually there was something I was really happy about. I got a Blackberry Curve 8520 for the I love my teacher contest on Facebook. The prize giving ceremony was then and I got it!!!
Then after all the teams had competed for Round 2, we were sure we would get at least 3rd, if not better. So the result time started with Best Dressed and WE WON!!!! I knew it would sound unfair as I was sure we would sweep a few prizes. Then we also won for the top SMS votes. Before long it was time to announce the top 3 winners. Third : Zodiac All Boys .... and I thought they were going to be first or second. Then second : Pirates. When they announced that, we were sure that we had won. No other team was better. And when they announced the winner as D*starz, I was crying like a baby, as were the girls and their mothers. It was extremely emotional but I was sooooooooo proud of them. So ... yes one event over. But the euphoria is going to linger for another few days.
Though that seems to be enough to feel what I feel now : a 4 in one win; something else came up and looks like we will have more work. What is it? I will disclose when the time is right. But it is all good.
Time to do my laundry and then go to sleep. VERY tired. Good night world, and WELL DONE, D*starz.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Being a teacher
Let me start by saying that being a woman is a tough role to play. As life goes, somehow, becoming a wife and later, a mother, seems to be the way to go. My role as a mother is something I cherish but at the same time, it is something I find challenging. It is the same when I look at my role as a teacher. I cherish it, but it is challenging and sometimes extremely difficult.
Being a teacher, and sometimes, mother, to several classes of students every year, is akin to baby-sitting the said students sometimes. Some of these students and I seem to have a love-hate relationship at times. They hate the amount of work I give them, and the expectations I pile on them. And I love them almost as much as I love my own children. Sometimes that love is reciprocated. Sometimes, it is not. Do I mind that it is not? Yes,I do, and it occasionally hurts, but I understand. And I let it pass because I am tasked to teach many students, usually different ones every year or so. To dwell on the disappointment would not help me move on with the new batches of students.
I have been asked what drives me in the pursuit of educating the youths of today. I guess I have never thought of it so much as a job but as a passion-filled mission. When I am standing in front of my students in class, or on the field, or anywhere else, I do not think of myself as just a school teacher who has to teach what is in the syllabus and make sure all my students score a string of As for their exams. Instead, I strive to be more than that – I want to be their friend, their sister, their mother, their confidante. It has been said that a great teacher INSPIRES! Most of the time, that is what I want to do, inspire my students, the youths of today, to excel in the things they do – be they academic or non-academic fields.
I realize I am not the best of teachers. I do not think that I am a “one in a million” kind of teacher. I do not always have information at the tip of my fingers. There are times when I might have failed in some tasks. I might have disappointed some of my students. At those times, I am wrecked by feelings of guilt and disappointment. But I remember that I am only human and I can only do so much at times. This is not an easy thing to do, but I too have had to learn to forgive myself.In spite of it all, I do have my wonderful moments – many wonderful and unforgettable moments. My students are my trophies and when they come back and say hello to me, when they send me wedding invitation cards, when they call me up or text me or communicate with me online, those are the moments I truly cherish. Those are the times when I know that I have made a difference in some lives and those are my reward. The system and people higher up can dangle all sorts of monetary rewards and whatever deals in front of us. But the best reward, to me, is when I see my little boys and girls grow up and become men and women of substance. Then I will know that I have fulfilled my mission and whatever sweat and tears I have shed have not been in vain.