Thursday, November 1, 2012

Failure

What constitutes failure? Is it not the inability to meet expectations? Whoever's expectations. The fear of failure can be so crippling that it causes one to just freeze and not look at the possibility of a light at the end of the tunnel.
Failure is something many people are fearful of. Failure in studies, in exams, in work, in marriage, in fulfilling aims and ambitions. Expectations not being met is not the worst thing in the world.
Whose expectations do we want to meet? For many, it's someone else's expectations. Parents', spouse's, society's, employer's.... the list just goes on. Can we truly meet every expectation? Perhaps. But more often than not, some of these expectations will come to naught and someone is going to be considered a failure, or that person has failed.
It boils down to the values that we hold. That will determine if we see ourselves as having failed or not. Whether the expectations we have are realistic or not, achievable or not.
Someone asked me very recently if it is ok to fail. I thought for a second and said yes. It is okay to fail, provided that every effort has been made to try and make things work. If they don't, even then, perhaps that is not a failure in itself. It's just learning another way NOT to do something.
I don't want to fail. No one does. But someone will, if expectations and values do not come together. I just hope that it won't be too scary.