Sunday, November 27, 2011

Busy first week

The first week of the holidays is over. It has been a rather full and busy week. I started by going to school and cleaning up my table and finishing up some editing work for a school project. Those two tasks took up 2 days. Much as I dislike going back to school or doing school work during holidays, I am glad I took time to do the necessary.
Then another day was spent at UMMC trying to get an appointment to do a mammogram, which turned into a rather exasperating effort. I didn't get a mammogram done but had an appointment made for March NEXT YEAR!
Then I took my kids out for a movie, Happy Feet 2, and a nice lunch. We bumped into Jeremy, the radio DJ from That was a thrill for my boys, especially Jeremy.
On another day, I drove Jonathan to church to meet up with other campers who were going to Broga for a camp. Then I took my two other boys for grocery shopping, and bumped into Aznil Nawawi, who hosts a children's educational show. My boys were beyond thrilled to have met "Abang Aznil".
On Saturday, my family, minus Jonathan, went to Kuala Pilah. We had a picnic at the Ulu Bendul Recreation Park, then we went to Shemariah Home and spent time with the children there. On the way back, we had dinner in Seremban.
Today, I welcomed Jonathan home from camp. He had a great time and I'm sure he was really glad to have gone for the trip. Cousin Su Ming came by and we went out for tea, and we chatted a lot. It was good to see her.
So that was pretty much how I spent the first week. Next week will be as busy, if not busier.

Friday, November 18, 2011

One more day

It is only one more day before the school holiday officially begins. And yet, there is so much more work I need to complete. In part it is due to the fact that I have been dragging my feet when some work had to be done. In part it is also due to the fact that I have more work to do and one project basically needs to be completed by end of the month if possible.
There are numerous tasks which I need done during this holiday and I need to refocus on my family now. I have to make appointments for Joel's re-evaluation. I have to buy books for my boys. I have to go and have my own medical check-up. I have to clean up my house, especially my room.
So many things to do. I don't even know where to start. Help!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Feeling the jitters

Just as my Lit girls are preparing for their SPM soon, I am feeling jitters. I am experiencing self-doubt. I am not confident I have done sufficient to help them ace the Lit paper. I am afraid for them, and I am afraid for me. I am not sure what else I can do for now. All I know is this : just as they are nervous, so am I. And I don't like this feeling. It is scary. I hope and I pray I have done the necessary, and whatever else I do, the girls will benefit greatly.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Our ego

This is not so much about ego. But about how, due to it (my ego), I do feel hurt by things that go on around me. There have been times when I rejoiced over good things that have happened to good people, to people who deserved to receive praises, gifts, rewards, well, good things. Yes, how can one not be happy for them. I know I was.
But I also know that behind the gladness, I have also been envious or upset even. Much as I know it is wrong, much as I try to deny it, I know I felt it. That tinge of sadness. That sharp pain somewhere in my heart. So I shall not deny it any longer. I, the picture of happiness outwardly (and I was genuinely happy), died a little inside when good things happened to good people, and that good person was not me.
I cannot deny my humanity. I cannot deny that much as I am happy for others, I sometimes wish it was me on the receiving end.
I am not jealous in the sense that some people received good things, especially the deserving ones. It's just that my ego is bruised knowing it was not me. It is nice when people are appreciated. I have been on the receiving end, yes. I have probably been the object of envy myself.
I know I am over-analysing, but I am just saying .... I do have that ego bruised from time to time. It is wrong of me to feel this way, perhaps. But I also know I cannot deny it. Some who read this might misinterpret this, I hope not. No one needs to be hurt by this, as I am not wishing bad things on anyone, just acknowledging my weakness and my ego.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The thing that has got most people riled up at the moment

Perhaps it is not so much the thing rather than the person who has got many people all riled up and ready to stone someone to death. Well, maybe not death.
The issue has been a long standing one, an issue being discussed, protested and debated for the last 2-3 years. The problem is when some people only choose to look at mediocrity and hope that the weak become mediocre. They have forgotten about the advanced group of people who need more than what is being offered. On top of that, they have forgotten about why it was implemented in the first place. Now, after 9 years, it is all going to naught. And the people most affected aren't even old enough to vote. They have no voice in this. The rest of US ... are simply being "gagged" or be regarded as troublemakers or traitors.
But what was most insulting was how the big boss himself used words that insulted everyone's intelligence. As if other people's voices and opinions do not matter. Only his decision is final and worth talking about. This person who has a disease called foot-in-mouthitis really need to get the right advisors and proper image consultants. His popularity and others' respect for him is getting lower by the minute. Good luck for the next few months.

Destroyer of relationships

Some people just find joy in creating tension and causing relationships/friendships to crumble. My guess is they envy the friendships others have and they themselves can never hope to have the same kind of friendship. It is sad when a person envies and then goes on to destroy.
I just hope that the person/s who have been smiling inwardly with glee will learn that he/she/they cannot win by causing others to lose. What value is it when one wins when in the process one causes others to stumble rather than winning with pride due to personal ability?
In the meantime, a friend needs a hug. Being bombarded with many negative things in one day, starting from early morning was not an easy thing to swallow.