Preparing for something not too distant in the future is not easy. It has been hard trying to figure out a lot of things, preparing for eventualities, and trying to find replacements. I am, by nature, quite a control freak. So it is terrible for me, not knowing how things will be, not being able to pass on the torch to someone else at this point in time. I wish I could just leave things be. But I cannot. Hence my problem of trying to prepare for all sorts of things.
Much as I am flattered that someone thought highly of me (whether it was sincere or not), it doesn't solve anything. I still need something more solid and sturdy than that.
If you are reading this and wondering what I am writing about .... it's nothing you can do anything about. So stop wondering. This is just me letting off steam a bit and also trying to make things clearer in my mind.