Monday, October 11, 2010

A funny day - sort of

Why is it a funny day? Someone made me laugh a lot today. I did not laugh out loud much but I still had a lot of laughs. I was flattered and I was given a boost in my self-esteem. Yes I am fully aware of what was happening, but I was, nevertheless, flattered and had a good day of just basking in unnecessary flattery.
Most of all, the whole thing made me wonder. I am a middle-aged woman who has been happily married for close to 14 years. No, life has not been a total bliss. There have been problems and issues that we have had to sort out. There have been incidents which were less than desirable. In short we are a very normal family with our ups and downs. We are also a very "Asian" family most of the time. Outward affections are usually reserved for parent-child relationship. But we do show our love to one another. The only problem is that we hardly ever praise one another enough. I guess I am learning that when I don't praise my other half enough, it doesn't do any good for his self-esteem, just as not getting any praises from him does that to me. *Note to self : show him my appreciation more, and praise him from time to time.*
So ... when I was bombarded with attention by a certain someone, I was flattered. I know it is just playing with words and nothing more than that. But .... it made me realise how much I need the same kind of attention and, yes, flattery, from my other half. I was dragged out of the mundane life into a more "interesting" situation. This is something I have never thought I would experience and feel.
The feeling has pretty much subsided now. I am back to my usual self. And I am slowly theorizing about what it was all about. I think it is an Oedipus thing. I am convinced it is. For it cannot be anything else. I think I have that effect on people, esp younger people. Somehow. And I recall that years ago, I drew that kind of attention from some people. Perhaps they feel safe with me. Or they feel they can trust me, so they talk to me. They share with me things they don't feel comfortable sharing about with other people. Even when I was in my early teens, people used to confide in me very serious things.
Yes that is my theory. I will stick to that. Why? Just because it is a safe theory. And it satisfies my curiosity. And because I don't want it to be any other reason. I value my sanity too much.

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