We are at the top

It was finally announced yesterday, and all over the newspapers today. Sri Aman is right at the top. We are the top school among the 20 high performance schools selected. We are a day school and we are not a controlled school. So it is a proud moment for all concerned that we have been granted the title. It has not been easy. We have had many detractors, we have had nay sayers. We have had probably students / ex-students / parents who have made rather nasty remarks about the school and teachers. We have all taken them in our strides and we have proven that we ARE up to mark.

We have lots to look forward to. We have much to fear too. Just as Spiderman learned that with great power comes great responsibility, we ... the teachers and staff ... know that with the title and money, comes great responsibility and expectations. It is scary and yet it is exciting. I hope and I pray that we can all take heart that we will do it together. Yes, people. TOGETHER.

Just too busy

If anyone has been wondering about my lack of updates, well, I have been too busy. This year, I am starting off work with a bit more system and discipline, I think. Contradict me if you want.

Well, I have had my first literature lesson and given the students a short assignment. And that has kept me busy. My English classes too have been keeping me busy. On one hand I have slightly more free time due to the presence of my trainee. On the other hand, I have to "babysit" the trainee.

My table? Well, books are piling up but I can still see the surface! I am even doing work there, especially marking books. Unbelievable but it is true. I AM trying very hard to catch up on work. I am even neglecting the paperwork that I have to do. That is slowly becoming secondary.

Activities? Cheer practices have started and I have to monitor the girls. This can only mean spending more time in school. My poor kids at home will have to bear with me.

Okay, I have to get back to some work before bed time. Good night.

What I am teaching this year

For the first time in more than 10 years, I am not teaching Physical Education. I shall miss it. I have always enjoyed teaching it and have often taken the opportunity to run around a bit with the girls during PE. So why am I not teaching it? I made the request. Two main reasons why I asked to not teach PE : I have a new subject to teach, something I have never taught before but not a total strange subject to me. I also think it is time for me to give my colleagues a break from having to withstand the problem I had, have, with a certain someone. So, I made the request to be taken out from the PE panel.

So in place of PE, I am now teaching Literature in English for Form 4. Truth be told, I was a nervous wreck when it dawned on me that I would really be teaching it. It's not that I have no confidence whatsoever. It's just that I am afraid I will not do a good job. I think I can be my own toughest critic. I cannot stand thinking that I might not have done my best and that I have let my students down. It is this fear that made me worry incessantly about teaching LiE. I know I have all the support and resources I need, which helps a lot. Come what may, I will make sure I do not disappoint my students and I will do everything I can to guide them in it.

Yes I am still teaching English. It is, after all, my major. This year I am teaching the Form 3s and Form 4s. I have not taught Form 4 for some years, and it is good to be teaching this level again. It will be a challenge but in a good way.

So ... I am looking positively at 2010, at least where teaching is concerned. I hope and I pray that I will look to God for the strength to handle all the jobs in my portfolio. It will not be an easy year, but then easy is BORING.

I am still in charge of Cheer. This year I am going for something extra. I am hoping to organize an inter-house cheer dance competition. This will give everyone extra reasons to have practices, and it will give them more chance to get co-curriculum marks for school level competition. In addition to that, Cheer Club members can look forward to a mini competition just for them. This will surely encourage them to practise and improve and show their potential. Definitely a good avenue to discover new talents. I guess I just need to iron out some details with my girls and some colleagues on the competitions.

I am still involved in the Editorial Board in the finance section. I honestly did a lousy job last year. I am disappointed in myself. This year, hopefully I can do a much better job.

Resolutions? I have several. I just need to work them out and see if they are achievable. Most might just be ..... wish me luck ... well, maybe not luck. Wish me all that is good so that I can do my best.

I went to church today ...

This morning, like every Sunday morning, my family went to church. As I got ready to leave the house, a little thought came to mind. "Is it safe to go?" I brushed it off. My mother and children were in ignorant bliss as they did not know about the happenings of the past few days. My husband did not say anything. I thought to myself ... I will continue to trust in the humanity of man, that the awful deeds were done by a very minority group of people. And I trust that even if my Muslim fellow citizens were to disagree on non-Muslims using THE word, a large majority of them will not resort to physical violence. And this is the belief that most of us have.
As we drove to church, I realize that Malaysians ARE unique. We are also very fortunate. No one really wants to shake the country and let it fall. We have lived with one another for so long, and even when we do not say it, we love one another. We might not always agree ... but so what! We might not have the same beliefs and faiths. But that has never stopped us from being friends. Jesus commands us to "Love thy neighbours". Who then are our neighbours? Are they not people, human beings, of every colour and are as different as can be?
In church today, as on most Sundays, I was distracted by my boys. I don't usually get to listen to the sermon much. But one bit that I did hear, and stays in my mind is this : "Let us not be afraid, don't let fear rule." We shall not run away out of fear. And we shall not take drastic actions out of fear.
I don't know ... I think some of my friends are feeling sad and worried. To my friend, the Princess, HUGS!!!! I love you. Nothing will change that. To those who are Christians, continue to love your neighbours and trust that the Lord is bigger than the issue. To those who are Muslims, I have no bone to pick with you, as I believe we will continue to live side by side as people created by the Almighty. To those of you who are neither, I hope you will take this opportunity to learn and not pass judgement on either.
My heart still aches. I know the whole thing will not just stop here. As it is, more incidents have occured in Taiping and Melaka. I hope and I pray that things will not blow out of proportion. I pray that no one will resort to violent acts for things they do not even understand. I pray that the whole thing will soon quieten down (I don't think it will be settled for a long time yet) and the public will not fear that violence will erupt.
Although I am still down, I am comforted. And I will continue to hope and pray.

It broke my heart

Yesterday was a dark day for my beloved country. It was a sad day for many people. Something I had never thought would happen actually happened. I don't know why it surprised me. I mean, if there is a small group of people who could parade with a cow's head, or demolish temples, yes, then by all means, the same group of irrational people could attempt to burn churches. But it still broke my heart that some people had to resort to such brash and irrational behaviours. It also broke my heart that some people could react so deeply ... read : violently ... to some things which I personally do no believe they believe in. I honestly do not believe that the people who actually physically threw the cocktails at the buildings know what they are doing, or exactly what cause they are supposed to be doing it in. I can only pray that these people will wake up from the hypnotism and SEE what they are doing, and the consequences of what they are doing.

But look on the bright side ... perhaps this action will do something that many meetings and conventions and whatever else has NOT been able to do. And that is to unite the hearts of Christians to PRAY, to re-examine ourselves and our faith. This is a good time to ponder and ask ourselves, what do we believe in ... how much do we love the Lord ... what does the Lord want us to do ... do we love Him enough to obey? Many more questions ... really.

Some people have voiced out their frustrations and fears. Some have lost all hope in this country. Me? It broke my heart, but I will NOT succumb to the notion that this country is beyond saving. I WILL continue to hope and have faith. And I will PRAY ... and wait.