Anticipating the CNY

I have not quite caught the bug for the CNY celebration yet. But I am trying .... Started last Saturday with some shopping for things we need to bring on those obligatory visits. Today I bought clothes. Next ... shoes? Do my hair? Nails? I don't know what I have time to do. I have not even bought things for the children yet. But I'm at least planning for the reunion dinner. Not that there is any reunion as it's just us. We'll see.

Time for a new start

Reality : Some things have to be left behind. The past is the past. I cannot bring it back.
Reality : Someone new is going to take over. Be it someone from the outside or from the inside.
So what do I do about it? Nothing much. There is nothing I can do to change things. But that does not mean I will sit quietly and take things thrown to me and at me and wait for things to happen. For a long time I was a relatively quiet person. I was happy and contented to let others make decisions and do the fighting if there is a fight.
For a long time I allowed myself to be comfortable amidst all the work and busy life I have. I could do with less work but ... I knew I could cope, most of the time.
But that time has ended. I do not believe in the way some things are happening. I don't believe in the way some people are doing things. And I don't believe in keeping quiet about things anymore. I can be a wonderful ally. But no, some people are so threatened that I have become their antagonist. Fine! Then I shall be antagonistic. Not because I am, by nature, antagonistic. But because I will stand for what I think is fair, I will not allow myself to be swept by the currents of narcissism. I will not be party to the plot to turn this into something unrecognisable. Do I worry about repercussion? Yes, a little. But I am not going to let that turn me into a coward.
It is time for a new start.

Toxicity

I have come to discover that there are plenty of toxic human beings around. You wouldn't believe it of them. I was fooled for a long period of time. I was led to believe that they would never be the toxic kind. How wrong I was! So many people were fooled, and are still fooled.
It is sad when you find out that people around you are insincere and not what they seem. You become wary of the things that proceed from their mouths and you wonder if any good they do has an ulterior motive. You question and you hesitate to accept their words and actions. This is no way to have a relationship of any kind.
It is doubly sad when one of these people turn out to be your so-called friend. Sometimes you would want to believe that it is not true, that it is just a circumstance that seem bad. Sometimes you would think, perhaps I misunderstood the whole situation. And then your so-called friend went and proved that you were right in the first place. No need to doubt anymore.
And I find this extremely sad.

ONE STEP CLOSER TO GOODBYE

I have been told I am one step closer to another goodbye. I am not looking forward to it, but it may be inevitable. It is a goodbye I don't hope will happen but it is likely to. I don't know when it'll happen but it's there.