Been a tough few days

Spending the few days in Shah Alam, holed up in the hotel during the competition was not my idea of work. But looking back, I have learned a few things.

• You don't win just because you have put in a lot of effort. Effort does NOT equate success. It helps, but it is not guarantee success. So we did not win the competition. We came away empty handed. Was I disappointed? A little, especially after all the hard work and EFFORT! Other people worked hard too.
• My kids are an extremely pampered lot. I had the most problem, not with anything else but with THEM. Firstly, they sleep like they're dead. All the alarm clocks in the world, and door bells could not wake them up. And to top it off, they can be extremely irresponsible and think only of themselves. This was a major disppointment to me and I think all of them need a smack on their bottoms for behaving the way they did, with me.
• I missed going to the gym. I spent about half an hour in the hotel gym and it was refreshing for me. I was tired for a while but it was so good to sweat it out and to get back to exercising. I need to find a way to get back to exercising in the gym.

Coming back to school after the few days of being away, I am finding my pace. I am trying to get back to normal work. I am still struggling with my marking. I have left it for a few days and I just don't feel like getting back to that. But I will.

Honestly, I am seriously tired of managing the team. I don't think they (esp the younger ones) appreciate my role in the team. I don't think they understand how much I (and the seniors) have worked to get us to where we are, at least in the eyes of the school. They are getting too self-centred and only think about themselves. They don't see the bigger picture, the future plans. I am worried for them. But I am tired. I feel like hanging up my role and just let them be. Perhaps what I should do is not to take in anymore gigs after this. I have given up so many of my weekends and holidays for them. Not getting anything in return, not even a word of thanks, sometimes. It is frustrating.

Perhaps it is time to make them slog for what they want. That should build character in them. Nothing comes easy and they should work hard for the team if they want to progress. They should just learn that I cannot pamper them all the time. Nor will I nag them. They make a mistake, let them fall and pick themselves up again. Only problem is .... do I have the heart to let them be? Can I just be mean and close my eyes to them? Can I?