Why?

Why do these happen?

• We work hard for something and we achieve success beyond imagination, and then something happens to sabotage the future of the group.
• Teenage girls get all giddy headed just because some boys they like are in certain groups and then they too want to be there and leave the group which they are supposed to belong to.
• Teenage girls squabble and go mad at one another for the tiniest of reasons and get all upset and refuse to make up with one another.
• Adults have visions for the future and plan things with agenda that does not benefit the people they have worked so hard to groom and then just get these new agenda to destroy the very group they built up.
• People take me for a fool who works hard and has passion for the things I do.
• People take advantage of my sincerity.
• People assume I am a push-over.
• Many think I am not easily affected by failures and troubles.

The last few days have been difficult for me. These questions, among others, have caused me such pain and sorrow. It is a vicious repetition of the things I felt so strongly about just 2 years ago, and some years before that. It saps me emotionally and makes me feel like giving up on the things I work so hard to build up.

And I feel betrayed. It was a betrayal that cut me to the bone because it was by people I thought I could trust, people I cared about. I wonder if they even know what I am feeling. Probably a little. And I wonder if it affects them. Probably not. And this makes it worse for me, knowing that they know, and are not affected. So why am I crying? What am I crying for?

In a way, I am glad not many still follow me here. I feel that I can express these without having to consider too many people. I am just .... S A D!