Just being sad, and I know I am allowed to be sad

My dearest friend ... I might be or not be the closest friend to you. But you know, the effect you have in my life is not something I can just sum up in a sentence or even a short essay. I am not even going to try. When you came in mid 2004, who knew we would strike up a friendship like ours? We will still be friends. But knowing that I will go to work every day and not see you next to me, turning around to look for you and you're not there, trying to figure out something and you're not there to discuss or even argue with me ... is more than I can bear at this moment. We are so different and yet so alike. We are so alike and yet so different.
The few years of just being colleagues and friends were wonderful ones. And the last few years of working with you as my "boss" have been wonderful years. I have enjoyed doing my work because you were there to guide me. Somehow you brought out the best in me. It's a strange phenomenon. I hope I have been there for you in some ways too.
We were like a pair of Siamese twins which are NOT conjoined. I shall remember how our colleagues used to call me by your name and you by my name. It was funny and yet it was a sign. LOL.
Yes I am sad. I am allowed to be sad. I will miss being your sidekick. I will miss the sister I never had.
But I also know the friendship we have formed is not so easily broken. I know you will still be my wonderful friend. And I know that where you will be, you will also do a great job and you will be a blessing to those you teach and work with. In that manner, I am happy for you. But I am sad for me. For those of us who have been happily working under you and with you. Allow us to feel the sadness because of the void you will leave.
My friend, it just won't be the same.

It is over

My Lit in English girls have sat for their SPM paper for the subject. It is over. Now, I wait and see what results they have. And whether I have done a sufficient job with them. Just as they were nervous, I was too. I was worried that I had not done enough for them, that I had not guided them in the right direction. I was thinking to myself over the weekend that if they don't do well, I might not want to teach Lit anymore. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. But I know my girls are good students. They will do quite well, most of them.

Busy first week

The first week of the holidays is over. It has been a rather full and busy week. I started by going to school and cleaning up my table and finishing up some editing work for a school project. Those two tasks took up 2 days. Much as I dislike going back to school or doing school work during holidays, I am glad I took time to do the necessary.
Then another day was spent at UMMC trying to get an appointment to do a mammogram, which turned into a rather exasperating effort. I didn't get a mammogram done but had an appointment made for March NEXT YEAR!
Then I took my kids out for a movie, Happy Feet 2, and a nice lunch. We bumped into Jeremy, the radio DJ from Red.fm. That was a thrill for my boys, especially Jeremy.
On another day, I drove Jonathan to church to meet up with other campers who were going to Broga for a camp. Then I took my two other boys for grocery shopping, and bumped into Aznil Nawawi, who hosts a children's educational show. My boys were beyond thrilled to have met "Abang Aznil".
On Saturday, my family, minus Jonathan, went to Kuala Pilah. We had a picnic at the Ulu Bendul Recreation Park, then we went to Shemariah Home and spent time with the children there. On the way back, we had dinner in Seremban.
Today, I welcomed Jonathan home from camp. He had a great time and I'm sure he was really glad to have gone for the trip. Cousin Su Ming came by and we went out for tea, and we chatted a lot. It was good to see her.
So that was pretty much how I spent the first week. Next week will be as busy, if not busier.

One more day

It is only one more day before the school holiday officially begins. And yet, there is so much more work I need to complete. In part it is due to the fact that I have been dragging my feet when some work had to be done. In part it is also due to the fact that I have more work to do and one project basically needs to be completed by end of the month if possible.
There are numerous tasks which I need done during this holiday and I need to refocus on my family now. I have to make appointments for Joel's re-evaluation. I have to buy books for my boys. I have to go and have my own medical check-up. I have to clean up my house, especially my room.
So many things to do. I don't even know where to start. Help!

Feeling the jitters

Just as my Lit girls are preparing for their SPM soon, I am feeling jitters. I am experiencing self-doubt. I am not confident I have done sufficient to help them ace the Lit paper. I am afraid for them, and I am afraid for me. I am not sure what else I can do for now. All I know is this : just as they are nervous, so am I. And I don't like this feeling. It is scary. I hope and I pray I have done the necessary, and whatever else I do, the girls will benefit greatly.