Our ego

This is not so much about ego. But about how, due to it (my ego), I do feel hurt by things that go on around me. There have been times when I rejoiced over good things that have happened to good people, to people who deserved to receive praises, gifts, rewards, well, good things. Yes, how can one not be happy for them. I know I was.
But I also know that behind the gladness, I have also been envious or upset even. Much as I know it is wrong, much as I try to deny it, I know I felt it. That tinge of sadness. That sharp pain somewhere in my heart. So I shall not deny it any longer. I, the picture of happiness outwardly (and I was genuinely happy), died a little inside when good things happened to good people, and that good person was not me.
I cannot deny my humanity. I cannot deny that much as I am happy for others, I sometimes wish it was me on the receiving end.
I am not jealous in the sense that some people received good things, especially the deserving ones. It's just that my ego is bruised knowing it was not me. It is nice when people are appreciated. I have been on the receiving end, yes. I have probably been the object of envy myself.
I know I am over-analysing, but I am just saying .... I do have that ego bruised from time to time. It is wrong of me to feel this way, perhaps. But I also know I cannot deny it. Some who read this might misinterpret this, I hope not. No one needs to be hurt by this, as I am not wishing bad things on anyone, just acknowledging my weakness and my ego.

The thing that has got most people riled up at the moment

Perhaps it is not so much the thing rather than the person who has got many people all riled up and ready to stone someone to death. Well, maybe not death.
The issue has been a long standing one, an issue being discussed, protested and debated for the last 2-3 years. The problem is when some people only choose to look at mediocrity and hope that the weak become mediocre. They have forgotten about the advanced group of people who need more than what is being offered. On top of that, they have forgotten about why it was implemented in the first place. Now, after 9 years, it is all going to naught. And the people most affected aren't even old enough to vote. They have no voice in this. The rest of US ... are simply being "gagged" or be regarded as troublemakers or traitors.
But what was most insulting was how the big boss himself used words that insulted everyone's intelligence. As if other people's voices and opinions do not matter. Only his decision is final and worth talking about. This person who has a disease called foot-in-mouthitis really need to get the right advisors and proper image consultants. His popularity and others' respect for him is getting lower by the minute. Good luck for the next few months.

Destroyer of relationships

Some people just find joy in creating tension and causing relationships/friendships to crumble. My guess is they envy the friendships others have and they themselves can never hope to have the same kind of friendship. It is sad when a person envies and then goes on to destroy.
I just hope that the person/s who have been smiling inwardly with glee will learn that he/she/they cannot win by causing others to lose. What value is it when one wins when in the process one causes others to stumble rather than winning with pride due to personal ability?
In the meantime, a friend needs a hug. Being bombarded with many negative things in one day, starting from early morning was not an easy thing to swallow.

Sloth

I am being a sloth. The pictures above are of sloths, the real ones. I am being the proverbial sloth. Slow to move, slow to react, slow to do anything. I am perpetually tired and sleepy. I feel like being a koala too. This is partially due to the fact that I have been under the weather. But I am really dragging my feet. If I could sleep 10-12 hours a day, I would. My back aches, my chest hurts, my head feels heavy, my heart is not where it should be. I need something / someone to change me back.

Slipping

I can feel myself slipping. In more than one ways.
As a wife and mother, I think I am slipping in my sense of responsibility. I think I neglect my loved ones more than I can afford to.
As a teacher, I feel myself becoming less passionate about what I do. Especially in class. I do enjoy teaching still, but the passion is just not as strong anymore. Too much work, perhaps?
As a Christian, my passion for my Lord and Saviour leaves a lot to be desired. I pray He forgives me and bring back that first love to my heart.
I think I am just letting a lot of less important things crowd out parts of my life. It is time I trim some of them away. Problem is am I up to it?